what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize