i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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