I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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