I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
