maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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