idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
