I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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