it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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