just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
