Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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