right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
