Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
