Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
