she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
