she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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