woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize