So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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