that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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