I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
