Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
