I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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