There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
