I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
