She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
