His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I see more hoeing in ur future
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