That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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