Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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