I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
