Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
