i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
