Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
