Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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