i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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