Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
