Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
