we're chasing vodka with high fives
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
