you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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