I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
