Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Randomize
Follow @tfln