he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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