Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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  (609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm
  Replies (10) Good night (870) Bad night (4616)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.

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  (715): All I want for christmas is my sobriety back. http://tfl.nu/wb57
  Replies (8) Good night (860) Bad night (3031)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said

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  (810): i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said http://tfl.nu/bvpk
  Replies (41) Good night (6699) Bad night (859)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.

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  (814): dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out. http://tfl.nu/nbi4
  Replies (12) Good night (8931) Bad night (1654)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem

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  (804): third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem http://tfl.nu/lhco
  Replies (25) Good night (5596) Bad night (2318)
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  (209): View more from California

  nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw

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  (209): nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw http://tfl.nu/vicw
  Replies (74) Good night (5100) Bad night (1392)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.

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  (903): I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink. http://tfl.nu/zmqp
  Replies (13) Good night (4730) Bad night (871)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.

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  (865): I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me. http://tfl.nu/r0al
  Replies (8) Good night (3095) Bad night (627)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".

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  (416): Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked". http://tfl.nu/jucw
  Replies (4) Good night (2242) Bad night (1084)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.

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  (720): Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage. http://tfl.nu/0rvw
  Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (600)
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  (951): View more from California

  Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick

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  (951): Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick http://tfl.nu/e46p
  Replies (6) Good night (321) Bad night (987)
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  (518): View more from New York

  ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU

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  (518): ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU http://tfl.nu/vr1a
  Replies (11) Good night (577) Bad night (314)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?

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  (870): I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more? http://tfl.nu/o5o8
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (283)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.

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  (607): I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs. http://tfl.nu/ntwi
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (434)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.

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  (941): i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win. http://tfl.nu/m2ze
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (202)

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