Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.

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(754): View more from Florida

you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(352): View more from Florida

Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!

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(917): View more from New York City

I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat

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(713): View more from Texas

There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will

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