so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
