If i could tip my vagina, i would.
This house was built for laser tag.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
