Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im holly from the hills drunk
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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