he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
