they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
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I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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