please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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