Don't make out with my wife yet
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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