i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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