She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
