dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
