I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
