whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
