It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
