He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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