Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
