Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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