I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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