all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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