just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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