it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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