a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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