I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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