2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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