Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
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I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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