I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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